Double Crown

316 Bowery

New York NY 10012

212.254.0350

Everyone has been stoked about the new AvroKO joint that just opened in the old Manahatta space on Bowery and Bleecker.

Of course the design is solid, with a big beautiful bar, community seating, private dining and cumfy boothes. The place is beautiful, with touches that say "British Colonial" like the interconnected pulley fan system, and the room in the back with one colossal mirror and white shellacked engraved wood covering the walls.

I did not venture into the adjacent connecting bar Madam Geneva, titled so after the original name for a Gin and Tonic in the British Empire. But I will.

Chef Brad Farmerie's concept of the cuisine of Britain and it's influences from colonies in eastern countries, like India and China, fell flat on the plate and in my mouth. Dressed up Prawns lacking flavor, duck steamed buns all bun no duck, soggy mackerel salad with no taste texture despite the shaved fennel and a handful of other unidentifiable ingredients, yellow fin tuna over soggy greens and an oily tomato horseradish compote? Ugh. The bangers and mash were good, as well as the black tea ice cream on the banana dessert, maybe because they actually followed the cuisine's mission statement.

What is it with New Yorker's and Fusion? Do they really want it? Are they so bored that they will spend money on food like this just because someone tells them to? I guess so.

I give Double Crown no's specifically for the food.

Blazeability: I didn't smoke that night, but maybe I would have enjoyed the experience if under the influence.

Philippe

33 East 60th st.

New York NY

212.644.8885

It was early on a Friday night and I had fancied myself up to go to Philippe, an upscale Chinese restaurant in Midtown. Headed by Philippe Chow (who worked at Mr. Chow for 25 years!) the place is small and narrow, with a dining room scooped out a half level below the entrance, another dining room a floor above, and a small room in the rear. 33 E. 60th st. has had trouble over the years with numerous restaurants opening and closing, and you can see why with the space being so limited and dark. The atmosphere isn't horrible, mostly a grey and white palate with red accents in the napkins, you get an upscale and stodgy feeling. Everyone is extremely professional, the waiters bustle around in white jackets and take what they are doing seriously and the clientele sit around going through the Friday night motions, which adds to the stodge.

I was glad I spruced up with a slinky black dress and heels because the crowd was so upper east, I felt like my appearance blended in, which makes me feel more comfortable when I "dine".

The food was spectacular. Because Philippe borders on upscale commercial Chinese food, one must keep in mind that sugar is really thrown around in the kitchen. I accepted this fact and chowed down.

Crunchy Duck salad: lightly dressed, chilled greens which balanced out the tender fried duck perfectly.

Crab meat soup dumplings: so much cleaner and tastier than ones I've had in Chinatown.

Fried rice: good, but better when I poured duck sauce all over it.

Peking Duck: huge, cut table side and the best duck I have had in the city. The order comes with house made crepes that are paper thin, as well as a garnish and duck sauce. I just didn't stop eating.

Philippe is a restaurant that I will go back to, not for the design, not for the service, not for the scene, because I usually detest places like Philippe, but simply for the food. Bravo.

*Smoke at home, or during cocktails downtown, you'll be thankful you're blazed at Philippe.

I give Philippe: out of

Blazeability:

Apotheke

9 Doyers st.

New York NY 10013

212.406.0400

Apotheke is a destination bar in Chinatown in it's final stages of sneak preview prep for NYC's need-to-knows. Boasting a cocktail list of 250 drinks organized by Albert Trummer, the new lounge is located on Doyers st. off Bowery. The space was formerly a dumpling house, and even further back, a famous opium den. The building, as well as the neighborhood, has extreme character.

I didn't puff that night because I knew I would be sampling many cocktails. But for future visits I would not be afraid to light up in Chinatown, especially on a street so small and absent of foot traffic as Doyers.

Walking through the front door of Apotheke, which has no marking's indicating a lounge, one feels like they are passing through a secret doorway. But what one see's once through the doorway completely shatters the illusion.

The space is small and slightly multi leveled as the back curves to the right and the floor slopes up into another space. The bar is made of a beautiful Onyx Carreras about an inch thick spreading across the back of the lounge. However I noticed when leaning over to peer at the antique apothecary accoutrements, there were multiple cracks between the slabs of Onyx that still needed to be sealed. And quick, because underneath lay rows of track lighting illuminating the bar from the inside, and if any liquid happened to drip down and...well I think you get the point.

I turned my attention to the rest of the decor, and became confused. The bar was strait forward: Made to look like an Apothecary, yet there were bed like couches spread out, tacky curtains with big fake jewels hanging from the ceiling, tile patterns everywhere, un-hemmed material draped overhead to the right of the bar, and dance music, the kind you would hear at a B list club in San Tropez. I understood the attempt to merge the principles of an apothecary and how they correlate with Mixology, with the vibe of a New York speakeasy. But I was sitting in a potential euro trash dive. Would New Yorker's venture out of their respective neighborhoods to try Apotheke? I say no.

In spite of boasting a cocktail list of 250 drinks, the ones I was given to try were all very similar: Cava or champagne based with fruit and in house pressed cane sugar (an idea I appreciate, it's so much better to have natural sugar). But they were all too sweet! I ventured to request a rye whiskey drink. I couldn't hear what the cocktail waitress said was in the drink when she handed it to me, but it was delicious despite the sugar still being to strong.

I think a bartender's personality heavily influences his drinks, and Trummer's concoctions let you know he spent seven years under the rigors of Bouley. So really the big question is can a cocktail offering that has all of the frivolities of the South Beach scene draw the crowds in a speakeasy setting in the heart of a not yet gentrified Chinatown? Time will tell.

I give Apotheke: no 's.

Blazeability:

Matsugen

241 Church st.

New York NY 10013

212.925.0202

I blazed at home, since I knew I was heading deep into the financial district, but only puffed a little because I wanted to be sharp for my first Matsugen experience.

Matsugen's emphasis on Soba dishes was intriguing . The waitress explained that the cuisine is designed to nourish you cleanly, with only the most exclusive and high quality ingredients (hence me chopping off my arm and leaving it with the bill).

However, I felt like shit after the meal.

This is why:

Scallops with Petrossian Caviar and Sea Urchin- Very good, well balanced small portions of perfectly cooked scallops. The flavor of the caviar was heavenly but the Urchin was too mushy and absent in flavor.

Edamame- Under steamed but seasoned heavily and well with coarse sea salt.

Shrimp cake with Shitake mushroom- Boring. I couldn't taste the shrimp which was minced into a compact ball along with eggs I think? Topped with slightly chilled tasty Shitake.

Seaweed Salad- Light and simple, again portioned specifically like the other dishes. By this point I was really feeling the "Balance" of the cuisine, which was consistent but unsatisfying.

Plum and Shiso Leaf roll- this came out in two rolls, the plum, then the shiso, very simple, the rice cooked well (thank god!) and the rolls were tight. They tasted great together, and fermented plum is so very good for you. Also, surprisingly cheap compared to the rest of the menu.

Natto cold Soba with all the condiments- I was most excited to try this dish. The portion was small, the noodles were way undercooked and the taste and texture were bland. What a disappointment! At home in bed I could still feel it like a brick.

Well, at least I had the beautiful fish behind me! I kept peering through the tanks and into the enormous, immaculate kitchen, which resembled a Hollywood set, (think No Reservations). It appeared to run like a clock, but why so many B.O.H. staff for such simple food? One to take the rice out of the bag, one to prep the rice for cleaning, one to clean the rice, one to clean the rice again...

The atmosphere was hyper-minimal and making me very uncomfortable, which pushes one to question why Jean-Georges himself was at a table eating with his brood. To create more of a family friendly atmosphere perhaps?

Customers were dressed to the nines and not even noticing what they were putting in their mouths. The waitress seemed trapped in starched clothing and behaved like a Stockholm syndrome victim. She accidentally tipped my water into my lap, which marked the beginning of her own personal Apocalypse. I assured her there was no problem and left a good tip, hoping it would help her to feel like more of a human being.

Apon leaving Matsugen, (after calling my mother and asking for her Soba recipe), I wanted to tear my clothes off and go swimming in a stream.

I give Matsugen: out of

Blazeability: